Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Next time you're bored

Next time you're bored, go to Amazon.com and look for office supplies that people have reviewed.

There's a long-standing tradition of writing creative reviews of mundane objects.

Example 1:
Acco Paper Clips:

Paper clips are an essential part of any office and it is common to find multiple brands and sizes in most businesses and also in some homes. Acco #1 paper clips are the standard small size clip that most people are aware of and commonly use. They are my clip of choice when I want to temporarily bind a small number of sheets together in a bundle.

"One thing I like about these paper clips is that the steel finish is completely smooth. Some other steel clips offer ridges or grooves in the design, presumably to help them grip the paper. With a small number of sheets, gripping really isn't necessary and I think the smooth gliding action offered by Acco is better. It makes the clips easy on the fingers and paper and it helps them slip over a stack of sheets with ease.

"These clips are small so they do have some limits. Paper varies in thickness, but from my experience, using standard office paper, 25 sheets is the limit for these clips. Attempt any more than that, and the clips will do what any paper clip does when it is asked to handle too much: The two halves of the clip will start to bend outward, causing the clip to lose its grip on the paper and eventually pop off.

Overall, Acco #1 paper clips are an item I will continue to use and continue to count on when I have a small clipping job involving a handful of sheets of paper or other paper- like object. These clips are simple and basic, but they offer a smooth design that makes them easy to slip over the paper and not let go. "

Example 2:
Swingline Collectors Edition 747(r) Business Stapler in Rio Red:

a) "
You can just go ahead and use this Red Swingline stapler to attach your cover sheet to all of your TPS reports. I'm going to need you to go ahead and come in this Saturday. And I am also going to need to have you come in on Sunday as well; we have lost some people and we sort of need to play catch up. Okay? Thanks!"

b) "After sitting in the same cube for seven years and most people not even knowing I work here. I was presented with this item. It functions quite well and has significants beyond functional and aesthetic. It takes up little 'Office Space' however I have noticed my boss eyeing it."

c) "I like this one much better, they made us switch to the Boston but that one kept binding, so I kept my Swingline and I used to sit over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, but now they moved me here and I don't know why I cannot enjoy my radio at resonable levels between 9 and 11 am when she can listen between 9 and 11 am. And there was salt, great big grains of salt, and I wanted a pina colada but they brought me a margerita and i could take my american express travelers checks somewhere else. The ratio of people to cake is falling. . . ."

Example 3:
Universal Rubber Bands:

What an awful, anti-family product this is. These will allow homosexuals to engage in all kinds of ungodly sexual positions and commit all kinds of deviant acts on each other. They could also be wound really tightly around a man's testes and prevent conception. I'm wearing one right now. The Horror. The Horror."

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