World's Greatest WHAT?

This lovely Ozymandias trophy is available from Topatoco, seller of such novelty T-shirts as "I'm made of meat!" and "Building a Fake Future in hopes that the real future will show up to mate with it," and (in a font mimicking a movie trailer announcement) "The following PERSON has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES so don't worry it's okay you can talk to me."

They also sell another shirt with a drawing of the "PED XING" man in a top hat riding a penny-farthing with the caption, "NOT A CRIME." The catalog page bears the following description: "FACE IT! As part of the top-hat wearing intellectual elite, you find yourself the constant target of mockery and derision for your chosen mode of transport! Stick it to the Man with a shirt that says, 'Hey world, I bite my thumb at thee.'"

Novelty T- shirts made by people who assume their target audience actually remembers things they learned in English class. What a concept!

The Great McGonagall

The Huffington Post has this article today about William McGonagall's poems being auctioned in Edinburgh.

So here are some more resources regarding McGonagall and other poets of his caliber:

The Bad Poetry Index - Several poems by McGonagall, as well as others including the Duchess of Newcastle who penned this unforgiveable -- er -- unforgettable poem, "What is Liquid?"

"All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get.
Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out
But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt."


McGonagall Online - Not only a great resource for info about McGonagall, also a great page of related links. Also a creative "About" page written in the style McGonagall's poetry. Here's the first verse:

"'Twas in the month of January in the year 2001,
When work upon this website was in earnest begun.
To spread the fame of poems like the Tay Bridge or El Teb
For the enjoyment of the surfers who make use of the world wide web."


Professor Roy and the Amazingly Bad Poetry Journal - Pretty much self-descriptive.


Worst Verse - Categories include "Bad Teen Poetry," "Bad Granny Poetry" and "Bad Weird Poetry."


Poetry.com - This is not a site devoted to bad poetry, rather to poetry in general. Which means if you do a little digging, you can easily find a fair amount of really bad poetry. Including this little gem by M.N. Knox of West Virginia. You can't knock the underlying sentiment, but you can knock the technique. The rhyme scheme can't settle in one place, nor can the meter:


The Child

The child was beautiful.
The child was sweet.

The child was handicapped
And that wasn't neat.

He was kind.
He was gentle.

But after years of being laughed at
would he earn a letter.

He could learn just the same as others.
He just needed extra help from a brother.

The child was normal, just delayed.
Or at least that [sic] what some people say.

Some called him handicapped in so many ways.
But he scored higher in science that [sic] most students anyway.

Could he be handicapped or a genius of today?
Could he be a young Einstein on his way?