Bad pun

Casino commercial

And a groaner, at that....

Thanks, Uro Club!

Uro Club

Introducing the Uro Club. It makes a great gift for the golfer who has everything except a Stadium Pal (made infamous by David Sedaris).

My favorite thing about the Stadium Pal website is the question, "What if you want to buy the Stadium Pal as a gift?" (because there's just no discreet way to get the gift recipient to use the sizing guide to ensure a proper fit -- it conjures up a lovely image of someone waking up in the middle of the night to find his SO fumbling under the sheets. "What are you doing down there, honey?" "Oh, I'm just measuring you for a special gift. I wanted it to be a surprise.").

Well, that and the testimonials from happy Stadium Pal customers (e.g., "Had two friends fishing with me yesterday and they just couldn't understand how I could go so long without relieving myself. Little did they know that while they were standing on the swim platform, hoping not to fall in the water, I was simply smiling and letting nature take her course. My new pal works like a dream and its nice not having to fumble with ice cold fingers and going the traditional way.").

Parody Audiophile Toys

Via Boing Boing:

A few months ago, I posted links to a couple of incredibly (and pointlessly) expensive audiophile accessories -- the $4,700 audio cable and the $150 block of wood.

Finally, someone has assembled some really funny and convincing ads for some parody audiophile accessories.

It's hard to pick a favorite -- the rock with a tube in it (pictured), the clump of clothes pins (or "PinneaEZ"), or the "Knutballz" (rubber balls with nuts attached to them).

Collect 'em all!

Heckfire and spamnation.

Your one-stop shopping for conservative talking points.

Arriving, unsolicted, in my mailbox is this lovely invitation:


-------(begin quoted e-mail)-------

For Immediate Release
November 24th, 2008

It is my distinct pleasure, as the president of Americans for Limited Government, to invite you today to become a key member of the exciting new conservative “bloggers central,” NetRightNation.com.

At ALG, we recognize the critical role you as a blogger play in gathering, assimilating, and disseminating news and commentary. And I, personally, am deeply grateful to you for taking the lead in fighting some of the most important battles our country has faced over the past decade, and more.

That's why I am so pleased to announce that NetRightNation.com is providing bloggers like you, the mainstream media, politicians, and other opinion leaders free, instant access to nearly 60,000 conservative blogs nationwide. And counting.

As a complete service bureau, NRN provides you a wide new array of blogger opportunities. As a featured blogger on NRN, you will be able to post your own blogs and interface with other like-minded bloggers nationwide. You will soon be able to “claim” your blog and customize your blog profile.

Information on NRN – blogs, as well as Twitter feeds -- will be divided by state, as well as by issue, to make it easy for you and others to access. NRN will also include a sophisticated search engine function and will soon have the capability for you to subscribe to customized email blog feeds on your topics of choice. Stay tuned, for these features will soon be online!

And all of that is just the beginning. In fact, I have asked ALG's Director of New Media, Adam Bitely, to follow up on this note with a letter of his own providing you the exciting details on how NRN can help you grow your own blog.

Above all, we want to make sure NRN is all that you, an important member of the conservative blogosphere, want it to be. So, as you visit NetRightNation.com, I urge you to please give us your input on how to make it the valuable asset we are committed to providing, at absolutely no charge.

Thank you for all that you are doing. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Wilson
President, Americans for Limited Government

###

Americans for Limited Government is a non- partisan, nationwide network committed to advancing free market reforms,private property rights and core American liberties. For more information on ALG please call us at 703-383-0880 or visit our website at www.GetLiberty.org.

-------(end quoted e-mail)-------

You have to love the blatant, oblivious (one hopes) irony of a self-proclaimed non-partisan network that exclusively promotes conservative blogging. Apparently, they don't read the blogs that they solicit with this e-mail. I poked around enough to see multiple comments along the lines of "how dare you send me this garbage."

Apparently, also, they feel that they need to resort to spamming every blog on blogspot to maximize the damage they can cause.

Step One: I'm reporting the spam.

How the timesculpture was made

Making of the timesculpture

Here's a "making of the commercial" video that is three times as long as the video it's about.

Here's the Toshiba Timesculpture video (which I posted about on Wednesday).

200 camcorders

Toshiba Timescupture

Filmed with 200 camcorders.

Sure, it's an ad, but it's oddly interesting. The first time you watch it, anyway.

It helps to go to YouTube and watch it in high quality.

[UPDATE: Go here to see how it was made.]

Incentive to vote?

Are you on the fence about whether to vote this year?[1] This should knock you off the fence.

According to Ben & Jerry's website (confirmed by a Facebook event listing), this Election Day, they'll be giving away free ice cream to people who voted.

"Come to participating scoop shops on November 4th from 5-8pm, show us you voted and you'll get a free scoop of ice cream. Show us your "I Voted" sticker, a photo of you in front of your polling station, do the "I Voted dance" or just tell us you voted."





[1] It's called "irony." Look it up.

John Lydon sells dairy products.

I can't decide if this is odd or sad.

John Lydon (formerly knows as "Johnny Rotten," lead singer for the Sex Pistols) has done a commercial for "Country Life" brand butter.

There is also this video response from Keith Allen (Lily's dad) and Pablo Cook, a tongue-in-cheek rock lament named, "Johnny Rotten Has Done an Advert For Butter."



"We still believe
That there's a way
To be Outside of everything,
And you were the man
Who was gonna take us there,
Johnny.
We believed you.
And the Clash.
Johnny Rotten
has done an advert
for BUTTEEEEEEERRRRRR...."

Graphical Waterfall

This "graphical waterfall" or "water printer" is in Japan.

It is similar to ones created by Pevnick Design in Milwaukee. Pevnick has a photo gallery and a video gallery of their many creations.

It's interesting. I wonder how long before this kind of things becomes old hat.

How much would you pay (Pt 2)?

First there was the $4,700 audio cable.

So now it shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you to imagine the $150 block of wood (on sale now, usually $200).

Oops. I'm sorry, did I say "block of wood" I meant "Acoustic System Phase Corrector."

According to Pure Music Group, this item "may look like a simple instrument grade maple block," and it does! At least you can't say they're not honest.

Oh, wait. That wasn't the whole sentence. "The Acoustic System Phase Corrector may look like a simple instrument grade maple block but its inner workings are more complex." It corrects blurring of phase coherency "by disrupting the energy pocket near the floor/front wall interface through a combination of resonance and diffusion."

I'm just sorry they don't have a link to the owner's manual.

[UPDATE: This one gets better. They no longer sell the wood block one at a time. They now sell them in sets only. Starting at $2,450.]

Nike pulls part of ad campaign

Nike has pulled some of the Hyperdunk ads that caused a bit of a stir on blogs across the country last week (and that I poked fun at). The ads that have been pulled are the ones captioned, "That Ain't Right," "Isn't That Cute," and "Punks Jump Up."

According to The Oregonian, Nike issued a statement that reads in part:

"Nike is strongly opposed to discrimination of any kind and has a long history of supporting athletes regardless of their sexual orientation. The advertisement in question is based purely upon a common insight from within the game of basketball - the athletic feat of dunking on the opposition, and is not intended to be offensive

"However, after listening to concerns expressed around specific executions, we have decided to drop them from the campaign to underline our ongoing commitment to supporting diversity in sport and the workplace."

The Oregonian also has a more detailed story about the whole controversy that includes this:

"'Really, the ad is problematic because of the context in which homophobia in sports continues to be so rampant,' [Jenna] Frazzini [executive director of gay-advocacy group Basic Rights Oregon] said . 'I think it's when you have that ad in front of folks who don't understand the commitment that Nike has that it raises concerns.'

"She added that 'if you don't really understand the sports reference, then it's more about the imagery. . . . You've got this image with basically a stamp of disapproval across it.'"

If you go to the website of the ad agency that created the posters, (the same link that I used in last week's posting, there are now only three posters on display ("Say Hello," "Now You Know" and "Fly") where there used to be six or seven. There are also some contextual shots of posters on display in New York subways.

New Nike shoe

[UPDATE 7/28: Nike has pulled part of this ad campaign. Read more here.]

[This is all over the net, but I saw it first at Joe.My.God.]

This poster is part of the new Nike ad campaign for the "Hyperdunk," a new shoe Nike will be releasing on July 26th.

All of the posters show people using the new "Hyperdunk" to jump, apparently, so high that they can push their crotches in their opponents' faces (or at least to dunk the ball more easily than ever before, and then wag their privates at the opposing team while hanging from the basket). The slogans that have been used on the actual posters include "That Ain't Right," "Say Hello," "Isn't That Cute" and "Now You Know." The campaign as a whole (but especially the poster captioned "THAT AIN'T RIGHT") has come under fire as being overtly homophobic, and the whole thing has sparked some pretty vehement confrontations all over. View the full line of posters here and read the cool, calm, collected comments that have been left for the makers of the ads.

Here are my own, pesonal Top 10 Rejected Slogans for the Nike "Hyperdunk" Posters (same photos, new slogans):

10. "No Talking With Your Mouth Full"

9. "Deeper Than Deep, Your Throat" (apologies to Linda Lovelace)

8. "Wimps Spit. Real Men Swallow."

7. "Say Hello To My Little Friend!"

6. "I Promise I'll Still Respect You Tomorrow."

5. "Take Out Your F-----g Retainer!" (nod to Jello Biafra)

4. "How Many Times Do You Like Your Teabags Dunked?"

3. "Suck, Dammit! 'Blow' Is Just a Figure Of Speech!"

2. "Is IT In You?" (oops, sorry, wrong sports product)

1. "Just Do Me."

Truth in advertising in the EU

The EU has recently banned the practice of dishonest or misleading advertising.

One of the targets of the ban (as it applies to theatrical productions) is the practice of quoting critics out of context in order to make it appear that the critic liked a show. For example, if you are producing a play and a critic writes, "You have to see it in order to comprehend the full extent of the wretchedness of this show, though I wouldn't advise seeing it under any circumstances," you can no longer print posters for your production that quote the critic as having said, "You have to see it..."

Laugh if you want to, but apparently this has been a common practice in England even until recent days.

Michael Billington discusses the ban on the Guardian's website.

Variety also had an article this past Monday about the ban.

How much would you pay?

How much would you pay for this fine limited edition power cord?

$20?

$100?

How about $4,750?

That's right, "...the LE-10 is an entirely handmade 10+ AWG, multi-conductor, Teflon-dielectric, Teflon-jacketed masterpiece that will clearly and obviously outperform any AC power cord that is now available or ever likely to be made!"

And that makes it worth $2,500 to $4,750.

I'm just afraid that there really are audiophiles out there who will be willing to pay that much.....

[UPDATE: Okay, they took this specific cable off the market, but here's a $2,000-$2,300 cable that they still sell.]

Spooky Video Update

Last Wednesday I posted about a video of a purported ghost in an elevator caught on a security camera in Singapore. The video turned out to be a PR stunt by an HR firm.

The ghost video has made the rounds in e-mail to the point that Snopes has put up a page about it.

Spooky mystery solved

This video has been on YouTube since the first of May. Interesting that HuffPo and Fox News and other outlets are reporting on the ghost video without reporting on the source of the ghost video. And basically it boils down to a PR campaign for a career placement service.

He says that it was supposed a warning against working late hours, but then he spends another minute and a half extolling the virtues of GMP's services. In other words, it was a PR stunt first and foremost.

[UPDATE 4:00 p.m.: HuffPo has amended their article. Now they give a link to this page that links to both the original video and the GMP response video.]

Wooooo... Spoooookeeeee...

Do not adjust your volume. The video has no audio at all.

Reported widely as a security CCTV video from Raffles Place in Singapore (though Huffington Post says it was "Raffles City Tower in Shanghai"). Or maybe it's a hoax. Or maybe it's a publicity stunt for an upcoming "Ju-On"/"Ringu"-style horror movie.

WOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo........

OMGWTFBBQ!!!1!?

I've been noticing this ad popping up a whole lot recently (especially on "Huffington Post") featuring Amy Sedaris. It's a four-minute video ad for Microsoft(tm) Office(tm) 2007(tm).

Amy Sedaris. And a bunch of bunny rabbits. And a cupcake bakery. And Microsoft(tm).

As I said, "OMGWTF?!"

On Microsoft's website for the ad, there are a whopping two (count 'em, TWO!) user comments:

"I love Amy Sedaris. Yay!"

and

"It's amazing how different she looked in 'Strangers with Candy'."

Both comments were posted, coincidentally, 48 days ago on the very same day that Microsoft first posted the ad. Yep, they sound just like Amy's fans, and NOT AT ALL like ad writers trying to start the comment ball rolling.....

Amy's fan-club's website includes this interview with her about the ad (near the bottom of the page - the top part is about her role in the movie, "Snow Angels"). In it, she is quoted as saying:

"They paid really well, and it was an opportunity, and I mean, I love shit like that. I would love to do commercials and things like that. I think they're fun--as long as you have control. Because you think they're fun, and then you get there and their idea is queer or they want you to do something stupid. But if I could have creative input like that, I would do a lot more--If they guaranteed that I could have a little bit of control."

Correcting my error

I made a point to locate the Comcast poster (discussed below) on the way to work today.

I have to correct myself. It does, in fact, say "TENDERNOB" in all caps, with no "K".

Chalk it up to my poor eyesight, I suppose.

The poster in question is located pretty much in front of the Orpheum (between Seventh and Eighth Streets, on the north side of Market).

[UPDATE 5/3: And, as it turns out, there's also one on the corner of Market and Noe in front of the gym, just opposite the F-Market stop.]

Pardon my ignorance...

...but I have not heard this before.

Recently, there has appeared a bunch of bus stop posters for Comcast Sportsnet that all have the form of "I don't know where [x] is [or are], but I know where [local sports team name] are" (e.g., "I don't know where the Ferry Building is, but I know where the Giants are"). And I've been seeing these ads every morning because I take the F-Market to work every day, and there is one of these posters on Market Street every few blocks.

I ran a search on "I know where the A's are" and found that there has recently been at least one commercial on Comcast using this same form -- it shows what kind of looks like the Marin Headlands where a man is standing and wearing a blue tux jacket but no pants, who says, "I don't know where my pants are, but I know where the A's are," followed by a graphic reading, "Authentic fans know."

Okay, I get the joke. And I'm guessing that I never saw the commercial because I never watch any cable sports channels.

The thing I don't get about all this is the poster on Market Street in the vicinity of Seventh Street that reads, "I don't know where the Tenderknob is, but I know where the A's are."

"Tenderknob"?

The poster got it right: I don't know where the Tenderknob is.

I ran a search on "tenderknob," and I found a few references, like this blog. So I guess Comcast didn't make the name up as a joke.

Is this just a new cutesy way to refer to the Tenderloin? Is it an area between Nob Hill and the Tenderloin? What's the scoop? And how long has this term been around?

And why am I always the last person to hear about these things? :-)

[UPDATE: It really read "Tendernob," not "Tenderknob" with a "k". See my subsequent update.]