Tea Party Jesus

Inspired blog:  Tea Party Jesus.

It has a simple concept that I'm glad someone put into practice:  Take quotes from Tea Party members and put them into Jesus' mouth.

Wal-Mart? SRSLY?

I still peruse my stats every day, just to see what postings are being hit and what search terms are leading people here.

Today, I saw my all-time favorite search term that led someone to this blog:

"play boys de wal mart"

Now, in reality, I'm sure they're looking for the Playboy "Women of WalMart" video from 2004.  But this image to the right from the "People of WalMart" website is what the phrase conjures up in my mind.  Or worse, something like this one.

Oh, dear.  Now that I've used the words, "Women of WalMart" in this posting, I'm sure that I'll now start getting hits for people searching that term.....

Heavens forbid that I should ever put onto this blog some phrase like "naked street people."  (Real search terms have come close to this -- today, I got a hit from someone searching on the term, "naked street guys.")

BB Picnic: Aerial video

Aerial video of Boing Boing Picnic 

I had heard that someone attached a phone to the balloon, but I wasn't over on that side of the field when it happened.  But I have found the video on YouTube.

The balloon was a field test by the Airship Victoria.  They are building a steampunk dirigible for future exhibition ("To create an audio visual experience within the theme of lighter than air vehicles"), and at the picnic, they inflated this balloon to test its behavior in high winds and near trees.  I heard someone say that they actually had expected it to be windier in Golden Gate Park.

Don't get dizzy watching the video.

Boing Boing Picnic: The Video

Boing Boing Picnic 

I'm not going to add anything to what I said earlier about the picnic.  I'm just going to provide my video evidence that what I said is true.  Doctor Popular was kind enough to allow me to use his music.

Boing Boing Picnic

This afternoon, Boing Boing had its first ever readers' picnic, open to the public, at Doughboy Field in Golden Gate Park.

The good people of Airship Victoria performed tests of a hot helium balloon for a planned Steampunk Dirigible project.

There were balloons (the regular-sized kind), bubbles, gophers, music, magic, a drawing corner, lots of kids, lots of grown-ups, an analog version of Twitter, lots of animated conversations and, best of all, free T-shirts.

My full set of 40 photos can be found in a Flickr set.  

[UPDATE: I have posted my 1-1/2-minute video here on my blog  and here on YouTube.  Also, I found this video taken by attaching a phone to the balloon.]

Word of the day

My submission to the Addictionary was chosen as today's Word of the Day:

proselytute - noun, Someone who receives pay for presenting political or religious opinions disguised as fact or news

USAGE - The cable news station's pundit made millions working as a proselytute, but his lucrative career was cut short when he was arrested in a proselytution sting.

Follow me.

Part One


Part Two

Sigh.

April Fool's Day

Gizmodo is having a lot of fun with April Fool's Day today, interrupting their regular fare with lots of bizarre articles like "Follow The New Gizmodo Empire And You Will Be Rewarded4."

And Huffington Post has this compendium of April Fool's pranks.

Among the list:

The Guardian has announced that it is shutting down its print publishing and will in future be distributed exclusively via Twitter.

Expedia is offering $99 flights to Mars.

Bjork has announced that she "has accepted the position of lead vocalist for legendary Led Zeppelin."

Car and Driver announced that President Obama ordered the removal of Dodge and Chevrolet automobiles from NASCAR. [UPDATE: But don't go looking for this article on their site. You won't find it. Even though it was clearly labeled as a joke, apparently the article caused a lot of people to become very upset. Car and Driver has pulled the article down.]

Due to a hostile takeover, Funny or Die has changed its name to "Reba or Die," and has converted to all-Reba-McEntire content. (Click picture to enlarge and read the press release.)






And my personal favorite is the Qualcomm announcement of its innovations in its convergence program:


Qualcomm - Convergence

The Twouble with Twitters

The Twouble with Twitters

It makes me glad I don't twit.

Nifty, neato PSA

Ad Council And National Crime Prevention Council Launch New Cybe - video powered by Metacafe

I can't really add much to that message.

Except to say that you're all a bunch of losers.

Okay. This ad is really aimed at pre-teens, but, frankly, I know a lot of adults who should watch this and take it to heart.

But acting like a jerk online is as old as the Internet itself.

And there's an interesting comment on the Ad Council Metacafe link (above). It reads, "yes let's chip away at freedom of speech a bit more. This is so stupid, it's online... if youd on't like what's said on it, turn off the computer, go out side and play or get exercize... that way you get stronger and faster, then you can beat the snot out of the online bully. 'Online Bullying' is a great way to discern who to be friends with, who to give references to, and who you simply don't associate with. We're robbing our kids of vital life lessons by being so over protective."

I can't decide if the person who left this comment is an genuine asshat or a dry-witted performance artist.

Obamicons

From Paste Magazine (pointed out by a Facebook friend).

"Make your own 'Obamicon' — your image in a style inspired by Shepard Fairey's iconic poster. Regardless of your candidate of choice in the 2008 election, here's your chance to sound-off.

"Take your picture with a webcam or upload a photo, choose your own message, and submit to the gallery."

The site requires that you sign up in order to save images. But it's free, and they say they won't sell your e-mail address to anyone.

Rules of the Internet

3 Rules of the Internet

Found on Boing Boing.

From Rock Cookie Bottom comes this song in the "Fun-A-Day in the Bay" project.

Jon alone

Someone pointed out this blog, "Garfield Minus Garfield."

The premise is simple -- the blogger takes Garfield strips and removes Garfield from them, leaving only Jon Arbuckle.

As you can guess, the idea works better on some strips than on others (click on the example above for a larger and more legible version). But it's good for a few chuckles and a couple of laughs.

NetRight again

Apparently, I am now subscribed to their daily newsletter that is chock full o' conservative goodness, regardless of whether I asked for it.

So let's play.

Here are two of the stories they recommended I post;

E-mail smear campaign against Nancy Pelosi is untrue: A widely circulated e-mail accusing Nancy Pelosi of granting minimum wage exemptions to a company that her husband owned stock in is incorrect on two fronts: (1) the company in question was not granted a wage exemption and (2) her husband has never owned stock in that company.

E-mail smear campaign against Barack Obama is untrue: A widely circulated e-mail claimed that Barack Obama filed a class-action suit that required banks to loan money to poor people who could not repay the loans, and thus he personally caused the current economic crisis. In fact, the suit in question only charged that one particular bank had discriminated in its lending practices (rejecting applications from black people but approving loans to white people with equal income and economic status). As an attorney, Obama worked on the case for about three hours but was not in charge of it.

Okay, I'm lying. They do not recommend these stories at all. Really, their top stories today involve Barack Obama's "identity crisis" (he used to be called "Barry," but not anymore, so what's up with that?) and a video of Fred Thompson talking about the economy. Pretty innocuous and petty stuff, actually.

But as long as they feel free to sign me up for their "conservative hot topics" newsletter without my approval, and as long as they misrepresent me as being a "conservative blogger," then I'll feel free to misrepresent what they stand for. It only seems fair.

The difference is that I will tell you when I'm lying.

Heckfire and spamnation.

Your one-stop shopping for conservative talking points.

Arriving, unsolicted, in my mailbox is this lovely invitation:


-------(begin quoted e-mail)-------

For Immediate Release
November 24th, 2008

It is my distinct pleasure, as the president of Americans for Limited Government, to invite you today to become a key member of the exciting new conservative “bloggers central,” NetRightNation.com.

At ALG, we recognize the critical role you as a blogger play in gathering, assimilating, and disseminating news and commentary. And I, personally, am deeply grateful to you for taking the lead in fighting some of the most important battles our country has faced over the past decade, and more.

That's why I am so pleased to announce that NetRightNation.com is providing bloggers like you, the mainstream media, politicians, and other opinion leaders free, instant access to nearly 60,000 conservative blogs nationwide. And counting.

As a complete service bureau, NRN provides you a wide new array of blogger opportunities. As a featured blogger on NRN, you will be able to post your own blogs and interface with other like-minded bloggers nationwide. You will soon be able to “claim” your blog and customize your blog profile.

Information on NRN – blogs, as well as Twitter feeds -- will be divided by state, as well as by issue, to make it easy for you and others to access. NRN will also include a sophisticated search engine function and will soon have the capability for you to subscribe to customized email blog feeds on your topics of choice. Stay tuned, for these features will soon be online!

And all of that is just the beginning. In fact, I have asked ALG's Director of New Media, Adam Bitely, to follow up on this note with a letter of his own providing you the exciting details on how NRN can help you grow your own blog.

Above all, we want to make sure NRN is all that you, an important member of the conservative blogosphere, want it to be. So, as you visit NetRightNation.com, I urge you to please give us your input on how to make it the valuable asset we are committed to providing, at absolutely no charge.

Thank you for all that you are doing. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Wilson
President, Americans for Limited Government

###

Americans for Limited Government is a non- partisan, nationwide network committed to advancing free market reforms,private property rights and core American liberties. For more information on ALG please call us at 703-383-0880 or visit our website at www.GetLiberty.org.

-------(end quoted e-mail)-------

You have to love the blatant, oblivious (one hopes) irony of a self-proclaimed non-partisan network that exclusively promotes conservative blogging. Apparently, they don't read the blogs that they solicit with this e-mail. I poked around enough to see multiple comments along the lines of "how dare you send me this garbage."

Apparently, also, they feel that they need to resort to spamming every blog on blogspot to maximize the damage they can cause.

Step One: I'm reporting the spam.

The Onion hits another nail on the head

From "American Voices" (the Onion's parody of a "man-in-the-street" news feature) "War For the White House" edition:


Palin Claims Innocence Despite Report
Responding to a report which said that she broke ethics laws in trying to have an Alaska state trooper fired, Gov. Sarah Palin said the report cleared her of unlawful or unethical activity. What do you think?

Charlie Wheadon, X-Ray Technician
"Well, she'd be able to address it more directly if the Democrats hadn't made truth so partisan."

Betty Hunter, Shoe Repair Person
"In my opinion, breaking ethics laws and then publicly lying about it is what gives her that down-home regular-gal charm."

Darick Keene, Retired
"Barack Obama is a Muslim."

Facebook etiquette

Oh, what deep and wide moral dilemmas arise on Facebook.

Or maybe it's just a sign of my being a social doormat.

Let me explain.

Shortly after I joined Facebook, someone sent me a friend request. I didn't recognize the name, I didn't recognize the face. But we had something like six friends in common. Based on who those common friends were, I reasoned it must be someone I knew (or at least should know) from the Cosmique Krewe of Colour, so I accepted the friend request.

About a month ago, I received a similar friend request. I didn't recognize the name, I didn't recognize the face. But his profile was viewable by everyone in the San Francisco network, so I was able to see that he seemed harmless enough -- he's recently married, so probably not someone looking for dates; there isn't a ton of activity on his wall, so he's not likely to become a pest; what activity is on his wall is generally links to articles that I already agree with (like "No on 8"); the two friends we have in common are Mark Leno and New Conservatory Theater (i.e., not close personal friends, but people I support). I accepted that friend request, and I seem to have been pretty much correct -- no poking, not really much interaction at all, really. It turned out to be as harmless a thing to accept as I guessed it would be.

This morning, I received a friend recommendation from another friend. The person being recommended is someone whose name I don't recognize and whose face I don't recognize. This person's profile can only be viewed by their friends, so I couldn't really see anything other than their friend list and the fact that they live in the East Bay. We have no friends in common other than the person making the recommendation.

So here's the dilemma: If I write to my friend and say, "Who is this person you're recommending and why do you think we should be Facebook friends?" I'm afraid that I'll sound paranoid or untrusting or just a plain old jerk. But if I just ignore the friend recommendation, I fear that I might still come off looking like a jerk.

For now, I have opted to ignore the friend recommendation and just keep my mouth shut.

But on sites like Facebook, what's the standard etiquette when someone you don't know sends a friend request or when someone sends you a friend recommendation for someone you don't know?

Enquiring minds want to know.

...totally looks like...

see famous look-a-like faces


Yet another site from the people who brought you I Can Has Cheezburger and FailBlog:

"Totally Looks Like."

I already knew that John Hodgman totally looks like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew -- I've been saying it all along. But I did not know that:

Jack White totally looks like Michael Jackson.

Trent Reznor totally looks like Severus Snape.

Quentin Tarantino totally looks like Squiggy.

and (hold onto your socks)

Clark Kent totally looks like Superman.

David Byrne ... Happens Today

David Byrne and Brian Eno's new album, "Everything That Happens Will Happen Today," is available . . . well, . . . today.

Digital download only - $8.99
Digital download plus CD (shipped in November) - $11.99
Deluxe edition (also shipped in November) - $69.99

Deluxe edition (custom package) includes: Bonus songs, A short film about the album; screensaver app; miniature hardbound book. The deluxe edition is available only through the album's website (and probably eBay, eventually).

For clarity -- the physical CDs (and other bits and pieces) ship in November, but the digital files (mp3s, FLACs and screensaver) can be downloaded immediately upon purchase.

Also, notice on the embedded video player above that if you click "Show Playlist," you can select any track from the album. You can listen to the whole album for free this way, not just thirty-second clips from each track.

Revenge is a dish best served on eBay

[UPDATE 8/15: A handful of people have hit this story by searching with terms like "urban legend" and "hoax." The Courier Mail story seems to be a source of the Reuters news story, which makes direct reference to the Courier Mail. I also searched Snopes for "annastella007," "tart's knickers" and "knickers," which failed to turn up this story (as of 10 pm PDT tonight). After reading the Courier Mail story, I personally found the eBay listing by going to eBay's home page and searching "tart's knickers," and not by following any links. So it's definitely a real eBay listing. Whether the story underlying it is real, well, there's no good way to test that without flying to Australia and talking to her.]

According to Reuters and the Courier Mail, a woman in Australia received a text message from her husband that read, "Where are you darling, I'm waiting."

The message did not seem to be addressed to her.

So she went home and found her husband watching a DVD. When she tried to go into the bedroom, he told her to lie on the couch instead.

When she went into the bedroom, she found an empty condom package under his pillow and a pair of panties at the foot of the bed under the sheets.

She tried to sell the items on eBay, but they have a rule against selling "secondhand underwear." So instead she using eBay to sell the condom package and a photo of the panties under the heading, "EMPTY CONDOM PACKET & A PHOTO OF 'THE TART'S' KNICKERS FOUND IN OUR BED AFTER A TWO TIMING LOW LIFE'S AFFAIR"

[UPDATE 8/15: Current bid, $25,500 ($US)]
[UPDATE 8/18: Winning bid, US$303 (AU$349.24) -- so I guess the $25K bid wasn't serious or was rejected for some reason.]

Ordinarily, I wouldn't quote this extensively, but since this is an eBay listing that will expire and be removed in future, I'm going to quote her entire product description here:

Item Specifics
Weirdness : Really Weird, unique, unusual
Condition: Used - BUT ONLY ONCE
Subject Area: Adult, immature
Type: Weak Type - IQ of a cabbage
Year: Knowing him, under 20 years

UP FOR AUCTION ARE

ONE EMPTY ANSELL CONDOM PACKET (SIZE small)

AND A PHOTO OF THE PAIR OF 'THE TART'S' BLACK LACEY KNICKERS (SIZE HUMONGOUS)

IT SEEMS I HAD VIOLATED EBAY'S SECONDHAND CLOTHES POLICY BY OFFERING 'THE TART'S' (HER NAME'S KYLIE i HAVE SINCE FOUND OUT) ACTUAL KNICKERS UP FOR AUCTION PREVIOUSLY

I CAN ONLY NOW OFFER A PHOTO OF THE SAID KNICKERS AND HAVE ADJUSTED THE STARTING PRICE ACCORDINGLY........ PERSONALLY, I DID THINK .99c WAS A BIT AMBITIOUS BUT, AS THEY ARE SO HUGE, I THOUGHT THEY MAY MAKE SOMEONE A NICE SHAWL OR EVEN BETTER, SOMETHING FOR HALLOWEEN PERHAPS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

SO HERE'S THE STORY SO FAR.........

Once upon a time there was a women [sic] who, after 22 years of marriage, found evidence that the soon to be ex-husband, had had 'The Tart' in their marital bed this very afternoon. This low life deceitful son-of-a-person ( I'm all for political correctness) blatently [sic] denied that this event took place even though the evidence is irrefutable and is now up for auction on e-bay.

The first tiny warning bells started ringing around about the same time a text message was received by the wife stating 'Where are you darling, I'm waiting'. As the wife had left the soon to be ex-husband at home only a couple of hours earlier to go to work, she thought it somewhat strange getting a message of that ilk from him. After a while curiosity got the better of her and with some trepidation, she decided to go home after telling her boss she had an upset stomach, which was no lie. When she arrived home an hour or so later, everything seemed normal but she couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. His car was parked in the drive-way where she had seen it earlier on and when she got inside, there he was infront [sic] of the T.V. watching a DVD as usual. She explained she wasn't feeling too well and said she was going to lie down for a while. His re-action to this was a bit odd to say the least. 'Why don't you lie down here on the couch for a while and I'll get you a cup of tea', he said. That was her first clue that something really was amiss here. Call him chauvinistic if you want and you would be right because this low-life had never made her a cup of tea in over 22 years of marriage.... so why offer now. Yep, you guessed it, he didn't want her going into the bedroom.... now why was that you may ask. She concluded later that 'The 'Tart' must have been in the process of getting her ass dressed and out of there pronto when she had unexpectedly arrived home. Of course she made a bee line for the bedroom then, with soon to be ex-hubby on her heels and apart from an unmistakable aroma of some cheap perfume resembling nail polish remover hanging in the air, nothing seemed to be different - except for one thing. Oh, you men, you will never understand why we have those, annoying to you though they may be, throw pillows and cushions on a bed and what they mean to us women. They are aesthetically important to our decor and when you see them piled up on a chair in a corner of the room, instead of on the bed where you arranged them a few hours ago, those tiny warning bells you heard earlier were now starting to sound like 'Big Ben'. Walking over to the bed, she started slowly taking it apart whilst the soon to be ex-husband stood in the doorway watching. Initially, when she first took the doona cover off, she was sure he just thought she was going to have a lie down but he was oh so very wrong. After the doona was deposited on the floor, she picked up her pillow, turned it over, checked under where it had been and then threw it on the floor. Then came his pillow, she picked it up and here was where she found the first of the two items up for auction - an empty condom packet. With forefinger and thumb, it was gently lifted from the bed and dangled in front of the soon to be ex-husband's nose. He had, by then, turned a lovely shade of red and you could see his mind was racing,... 'how the hell am I going to get out of this'. He then said the only inane thing he could come up with at the time which was, 'What's that?'. As a couple, they had not used condoms for many years, or at least she hadn't, but surely that didn't mean he could have forgotten what one looked like! For some reason, she continued to strip the bed and when the top sheet was removed the location of the 2nd item up for auction, 'The Tart's' knickers, were discovered at the foot of the bed.

Explanations were needed pronto and would you beleive [sic] it, he actually came up with some. They were all a pack of lies and instead of admitting it, apologizing and starting to grovel, this is what he came up with. 'I dropped my phone down the toilet, I didn't want to put my hands down there and I could't [sic] get it out with the toilet brush so I used a condom because I couldn't find any rubber gloves'. Well, well, well, that was thinking on your feet eh! She thought she had heard it all now but figured she would see how big a hole he really was keen to dig for himself so she then asked. ' When was that then and where did you get the condom from?'. He replied, 'It happened just after you left for work and I rummaged around and found one in the pocket of an old jacket in the wardrobe'. 'So how is your phone then, is it working?' she asked... 'No, it's stuffed', he replied. 'So how do you explain sending me a text message a couple of hours after I was at work then'. 'What message? It wasn't from me, my phone's not working', he replied but noticed he had gone a funny shade of green as it began to sink in that he had actually sent the text to her by mistake. 'What about these knickers then, what are they doing in our bed and whose are they', she asked thinking to herself, this will be good. She wasn't disappointed, as blatant as lies go, it was a classic. 'Sorry love, I've been meaning to tell you for years but I am a closet transvestite and they are mine'.

10 out of 10 for trying buddy but your [sic] out of here........ systematically his clothes were gathered up and thrown out the front door along with 'The 'Tart's' knickers which, after second thoughts, were scooped up and retrieved. YES, there really is a God for it started to rain then. Not just that fine rain which gets on your damn nerves but bucket loads of torrential rain which the soon to be ex-husband found himself standing in whilst calling the soon to be ex-missus all the names under the sun. He was gathering up his wet soggy clothes and the photo she had thrown at him of them outside the church on their wedding day (she thought that maybe [sic] a nice touch) when he screamed out for his car keys and wallet. Off she went to get them and with no hesitation, handed them over and told him to get lost in no uncertain terms then watched as he drove away. Dangling in her hand was the key she had slipped off his keyring, to the soon to be ex-husband's 'Harley Hog', his pride and joy - which brings me nicely to the next item that will probably be sold on Ebay at a start price of.99c and of course, with no reserve!

AND THATS [sic] THE STORY SO FAR...... HAPPY BIDDING

Aug-08-08
Q: Hi annastella007 Now he's gone will u go out with me,i wont play up on u !!!!

A: Thanks but do you really think you can handle a women in the middle of a 'Hell hath no Fury like a women scorned' vendetta...... me thinks not but nice of you to ask all the same and I hope you find someone. Cheers.

Aug-08-08
Q: Hi. I'm wondering if rubber gloves were used in handling of the mentioned tarts knickers, and if the bed was completely stripped and sterilized after the event. Also can you tell me what size they are because the 'photo' might be a good one to send to someone as an example of fine underwear...

A: Hi, Rubber gloves were not involved in the removal of 'The Tart's' knickers from the bed. However, as an avid movie buff, I took a leaf out of 'Basic Instinct' and gave em a boil up on the stove.... they shrunk a bit so I don't think they would even fit a bunny now! I did a 'Midnight Oil' on the bed the follwing day fueled by a nice little collection of 'Phantom' comics which the soon to be ex-husband had been collecting for a while but they looked pretty old to me so I figured he probably would'nt want them anyway. Cheers, Anna

[UPDATE 8/18: Final closed auction shows this addition:

On Aug-15-08 at 19:41:51 PDT, seller added the following information:

Hi everyone and my sincere thanks for the humongous amount of support, comments and questions you have sent and must apologise for not being able to answer many of them. However, I have selected a few of the more common ones to answer so here goes:

NO, sorry, you cannot have Kylie's phone number.

NO, the Harley will not be cut in half to give him his share, far too much respect for the bike to do that!

NO, 'The Tart's' knickers are not suitable for use as sails for your boats, 2 man tents or parachutes etc.

YES, you could have used the missing condom as a back pack for your Hamster Andy.....

YES, the winning bidder will receive a new (one off) photo of 'The Tart's Knickers' - not the one displayed here.

As for the questions pertaining to if, when and what was said to the soon to be ex husband the last time he was seen..... well as it turns out, that was fairly recently. Arrived on the doorstep holding flowers, a box of chocolates and wearing an expression that would certainly have won Gold in the 'Poor Me' event at the Olympics if they had one. His apologies were nothing that had not been heard before and a heated discussion (oh, alright then, a row) broke out. His last words were, 'my God woman, does that mouth of yours come with it's own postcode' - must admit that for a nano second there, a fleeting thought of 'good comeback' was recorded but it wasn't over yet. He was then told in no uncertain terms, not to try and battle wits with someone when he was unarmed and that now, all he was doing now was shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic..... he was going down. The chocolates were snatched out of his hands (we women know our priorities) before the door was closed firmly (oh alright, slammed then) in his face.]