THE BOOK OF YELLING!!

Found for sale at Amazon.com.

I really encourage you to follow the link and view Amazon's "Look Inside" excerpts.  You will find that:


(1)  The book, whose main message seems already to have been put so eloquently and concisely in the title, is over 600 pages long (the tenth chapter, "POEMS AND PRAISE TO OUR CREATOR GOD: AND TO OUR  LORD AND SAVIOR EMMANUEL JESUS WHO IS >" starts on page 617);

(2) In order to indicate how important every word in the book really is, THE *ENTIRE BOOK SEEMS TO BE WRITTEN IN **ALL **CAPS!!  AND SEEMS TO USE>; A LOT: OF *EXCLAMATION MARKS: AND: COLONS: >> AND >s AND **ASTERISKS WITH> *NO: *APP:AR>;ENT MOTIV:*A>:TION !!!

(3)  I'm not even going to comment on the spelling and grammar.  And use of incomplete sentences.  And overuse of question marks??? 

(4) It seems the author's parents had a creative approach to the name "Elizabeth."

(5) Though the title claims that the book is about birth control (not just abortion, but condoms, pills and other contraceptives), the chapter titles seem to indicate that a lot of the book is about "Where the Church went wrong," "Some more of the Church's greatest mistakes" and "Well, that about wraps it up for the Church" (apologies to Douglas Adams).

One of Amazon's 92 user reviews puts it quite well: 

"Despite being written entirely in BLOCK CAPITALS, this self-published work conveys its message elegantly. In fact, you don't even need to read it to understand the main argument being put forward.

"True, by avoiding this book you will miss out on the precise location of the heretical surfboard worshipped by the British royal family and the sinister significance of Abe Lincoln's unholy quadrille. You will also miss out on the explanation of why the Hairy-Eared Dwarf Lemur is really God's own tree-dwelling angel-on-earth and on the coded instructions showing how to grow a prize-winning mushroom, which the author cunningly gleaned from a close textural analysis of St. Paul's third birthday card to the Corinthians."

The author's biography on the publisher's website reads as follows:

"MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG IS A CHRISTIAN EVANGELIST SPEAKER:   AND A CHRISTIAN HOLY BIBLE WRITER/TEACHER:  CHOSEN AND CALLED BY THE HOLYSPIRIT GOD: MS. ELIYZABETH  STARTED TWO CHRISTIAN CABLE TELEVISION PRODUCTIONS IN 1996:  CALLED: CHRISTIAN POWER! HEALTH PROSPERITY AND SOUL!!  ALSO : AND  ALSO > TEENAGER AND KIDS TELEVISION PRODUCTION CALLED:> CHILDREN RAISED IN THE LOVE OF JESUS. *SHE ALSO STARTED A CHRISTIAN BASE MILITARY CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORES AND MALL CART BUSINESS DURING IN 1991.  ALL THREE CHRISTIAN MINISTRIES ARE > NOW  ONLINE CHRISTIAN WEBSITES UNDER THE NAMES:
http://christianpowerbookstores.spreadtheword.com/ **

http://group.msn.com/ChristianPowerHealthProsperityAndSoul ALSO >;
http://groups.msn.com/ChildrenRaisedInTheLoveOfJesus 

"*MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG: ALSO HAS A 1ST DEGREE BLACK BELT IN TAEJUKENPO KARATE: SHE STARTED A KIDS & TEEN: KARATE MEMBERSHIP &; TV CLUB: CALLED: KARATE PLAY: IN 1996-2000: SHE IS NOW: STARTING: RECREATION CITY KARATE CLASSES IN TUCSON ARIZONA: WITH GOALS TO OFFER PRIVATE MEMBERSHIP KARATE CLUB CLASSES. 

"MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON: ALSO PETITION FOR THE MAYOR SEAT IN TUCSON ARIZONA IN 1998. BECAUSE OF ORGANIZED CRIMES, POLICTICAL RACISM AND CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION AGAINST ELIYZABETH: HOLYSPIRIT EVANGELIST LIFE: IN THE PAST 10 YEARS: GOD HAS DIRECTED MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON: TO WRITE THIS BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE, AND THIS BOOK OF REPENTANCE: TO HELP SAVE THE WORLD: THROUGH GOD AND CHRIST JESUS: IF YOU BELEIVE: YOU CAN RECIEVE JOHN 3:3-16. *REMEMBERING: MATTHEW 4:17-26: JESUS SAID: REPENT! THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND: **COME AND FOLLOW ME: AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN!! MY FIRST CHRISTIAN BOOK IS DIRECTED BY GOD: AND THE TRUE CALL TO ETERNAL LIFE SALVATION IS IN IT: GIVEN TO ME FROM: EMMANUEL CHRIST JESUS: > JESUS SAID: JOHN 14:15-16 If ye love me, keep my commandments. 

"VISIT MY NEW YOUTUBE WEBSITE CHANNEL FOR QUESTIONS:
"HTTP://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/ELIYZABETHSTRONG"

Ever wonder what became of Janine Turner from "Northern Exposure"?

Christoga

Found via a truly entertaining article at Urlesque.  Apparently, yoga is an evil tool of Hinduism, secretly luring good Christians into other evil religions.  Think I'm exaggerating?  Go look at this video from CBN (I don't want to support them by embedding it here).

If you practice yoga, the terrorists win.

Someone please prove to me that this is a joke.

Tea Party Jesus

Inspired blog:  Tea Party Jesus.

It has a simple concept that I'm glad someone put into practice:  Take quotes from Tea Party members and put them into Jesus' mouth.

Chapter IV, in which I become a threat to Christianity

An accountant, standing in front of an office supply store (Patrick & Co.), smiling and waving.

Yep, that image sure would make me quake in my boots.

Ordinarily, I would expect that a Christian anti-defamation commission who wished to instill fear in their followers would choose a picture of a drag queen in stiletto heels, fishnet stockings and full leather regalia, brandishing a whip over an ecstatic semi-nude figure wearing a George W. Bush mask. But, no, apparently an accountant in sunglasses will frighten people just as well.

Long story short, the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission has used this photo of me as one of the illustrations for their article, "Inaugural Warning: P for Perverse":

"To ensure no one misses the perversion, the Inaugural parade will include a homosexual marching band with their rainbow flags flying proud with millions of our nation’s children and Christians watching. This is the same band that proudly advertises that it will march in the homosexual Southern Decadence parade, known for its vulgarity and lewd acts in public. In 2003, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported that it had 'become routine' for men to flash their genitals and perform public sex acts at the event, which bills itself as ‘the Gay Mardis Gras.’ Have fun explaining that to the little ones.

"Celebrating a person’s sin sends a message of approval.

"In order to be consistent in using this kind of reasoning, Obama ought to have a stripper lead off the inaugural parade followed by the Hell’s Angel’s Motorcycle Drill Team followed by the Crips Precision Handgun Corp. and the Transvestite Fashion Police. Just because something exists in society does not mean it is good and is to be paraded in front of everyone, especially children."

Westboro protest

westboro baptist church and me
Originally uploaded by Burstein!

Existential sign in a counter-protest to Westboro Baptist Church.

They were not amused.

You'll hear this again...Count on it.

Via Gizmodo:

I predict that you'll hear this story on "Wait...Wait...Don't Tell Me" and "The News Quiz" this weekend.

A pastor for the Church of Sweden has resigned after causing his church's IT system to become infected with a nasty, nasty computer virus. The pastor exposed the system to the infection through surfing the web for pornography. (The story does not explicitly say, but one presumes that the IT team, searching for the source of the infection, looked into the pastor's browser history.)

The Register reports, "The powers that be have not yet decided whether a righteous defrocking is in order in this case - a fate avoided by a pastor in Gothenburg who recently 'came under scrutiny for moistening post-it notes with his penis and sticking them up in an office' and was allowed to keep his job."

Skankin' for Jesus

I've never heard Christian Ska before.

"He is like a Mountie. He always gets his man, and he'll zap you any way he can. (ZAP!)"

(Via Boing Boing)

Red State Update meets Westboro Baptist Church

This video is available only on Salon, not on Red State's own website (not yet, anyway).

"I think my definition of crap and yours might be a little different."

[UPDATE 8/21/08: They have now added the video to their site and their YouTube channel.]

It's a bouncy-castle! No, it's a church!

You heard about it on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," this past weekend -- the inflatable churches that are being used on Italian beaches to boost church attendance.

Reuters and the BBC both have video stories about these churches (with a lot of footage in common between the two stories).

According to the Reuters wire (print) story, the churches are 30 meters long, and the first attempt was a failure due to high winds.

Heaven Scent

Candles that smell like Jesus.

Available in three scents, based on three bible references:

His Essence - Psalm 45:8 - "All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia..."

Resurrection - John 19:39-40, "Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about 75 pounds. Taking Jesus' body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen."

Servanthood - John 12:3, "Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume."

Available in jar candles, etched glass candles, pillar candles, votives and tea lights.

"Your tea is being kept warm by a candle that smells like Jesus smelled when he arose from the dead...."

Delicious, delicious.